Page 16 - Demo

16 | Gazette Life | March 2026Readers are reminded that views and comments expressed within the Ed%u2019s Postbag page are those of the contributors and may not necessarily reflect the opinions or standpoint of our staff. It should also be noted that we are an independent publication free from political persuasion or governmental censorship.AIRPORT CARNAGEDear GazetteI fully agree that something needs to be done at the airport. We had the same silly nonsense with the EES entry although we got through quickly, not expecting to then have to scan the passport again and still queue to get the passport stamped. Returning to the airport on departure day was carnage. I need assistance for mobility reasons- I can walk a little but cannot bear to stand for long periods. We headed into departures looking for help, but there were ZERO helpers or wheelchairs. We approached the Easy Jet bag drop area that was chaos with an enormous queue stretching the length of departures even before entering the obligatory zig zag zone. I found that there was an assistance desk and queue so joined that only to be left to stand for over an hour as a constant stream of wheelchairs (mainly private) bypassed us to the desk. I repeatedly pointed out that I needed assistance and could no longer stand, only to be ignored. In the end I just had to push in front of a wheelchair and insist we were checked in. Once at our gate I spoke to a handler and again told them I was registered for assistance (still no helpers or wheelchairs that we could find) We were taken aside to a separate queue, for which we were grateful, only to be once again be passed by those lucky enough to have a wheelchair. Once again we insisted that we were let through, only for the border guard to refuse to process our passport because I wasn't in a wheelchair!!! He did relent when I got angry and he could see I was on the point of keeling over. We have been travelling to Lanzarote for 35 years but now we%u2019re considering whether or not to continue. The service at the airport has always been indifferent, bordering on slapdash, but this was our worst ever experience compounded now by my need for help. Sorry about the ramble, but you are so right when you say things need to improve. Kindest Regards, Steve DenyerEd%u2019s PostbagTip o%u2019 the morning to you! Our agony aunt, the Contessa Guapatini, invites you to pull up a stool, pop a shamrock in your glass, and confess your juiciest St. Patrick%u2019s Day dilemmas. HAT TRICK%u201cI kissed a man in a leprechaun hat and now he won%u2019t text. Bad luck?%u201dThe Contessa replies: Darling, that%u2019s not bad luck %u2014 that%u2019s bad taste in men. Novelty-hat romance has a very short shelf life. Cleanse your lips and move on.PARTY POOPER%u201cMy partner says St. Patrick%u2019s Day is %u2018just another day%u2019.%u201dThe Contessa replies: Red flag. Anyone who rejects green glitter and day drinking needs urgent intervention %u2014 preferably at Guapatini%u2019sCHEEKY PEAKY BLINDER%u201cI pretend to be Irish for free drinks. I%u2019m from Birmingham.%u201dThe Contessa replies: On St. Patrick%u2019s Day, we%u2019re all Irish. I frequently find a little piece of an Irishman inside of me. Just don%u2019t start researching your ancestors tomorrow.The Contessa Guapatini is the star and owner of Guapatini%u2019s Show Bar in Puerto del Carmen %u2014 TripAdvisor%u2019s No. 1 live entertainment experience in Lanzarote. She believes laughter, sequins, and a little sass can fix almost anything%u2026 even your in-laws.Just the Tip